Love Is Not A Fight But It’s Something Worth Fighting For

Love wholly, give yourself fully. Or don’t at all. Don’t start a journey you can’t go the full length of. Don’t be with someone who deprives you of the ability to give your all without the fear of getting hurt.

This was part of my journal entry for Saturday, 5th August. I can remember clearly, the emotions I felt preceding my writing it. They were different, completely different from what I settled to write.

That morning, I was questioning love and all the other verbs it brought with it. I felt, at that point, that there was no point being the all or nothing person I’d always told myself I was, the one who rarely took to liking people but when she did, went really overboard with it. The one who easily slipped into the role of a mother hen, caring about the littlest things like why your voice has an added coarseness to its texture and why you aren’t drinking enough water. The one who got so excited to talk to you and would tell you every detail of her day till the number of people she talked to and how she wore her face when she did. The one who could sacrifice sleep and other material things for the ones she loved.

Now, I’m not saying I’m the perfect friend or sister. I mean, obviously, I’m not. I can be choking a times. I can also forget to check on the ones I love when life hits me with many responsibilities, which sometimes is just a good movie series.😂😂 But I think I try. I do, for those whose names some how got stamped in my heart.

Which is why that particular day, as recent occurrences in my life coupled with some introspection made me ask myself why I felt so strongly, why I loved fiercely and could rarely hold back, I was in one of my most demure states ever. It was new for me, pondering the possible ills of love, pondering over the unfairness I thought had become my reality. I didn’t have an answer, social media did -memes that basically said “Don’t give more than you’re receiving in any relationship.”

And so I began also to reconsider my expectations. I wondered if they were valid. I wondered if expecting people to treat me the way I did them was even reasonable at all. I began to believe that I should stop giving too much (In my big head and small heart, I thought I was giving too much, I’ve not even given an eye yet oo. )  and then stop expecting anything much from people. So that I’ll shield myself from getting hurt. And so with all these musings, my journal entry should have been along those lines.

But journalling, as therapeutic as it is, jerked me off such wrong thinking. People may have given lower than I expect but that’s their issue as long as my expectation is reasonable and still within the boundaries of love. That one or two people failed me is not enough reason for me to lower my expectation.
Jesus, Love Himself, hasn’t yet lowered His expectation of me and I can’t count the number of times I’ve failed Him.

So instead, I wrote to Love wholly, like He does. Not holding back anything and giving your all. Recipe for pain? Maybe. But why take off on a journey you don’t intend to go fully on? Why say you love someone (We must love all as Christians but this is specifically the love shared in intimate relationships and close friendships where openness is required.) who you can’t be truly unmasked before and still not be scared of getting hurt or who you can’t let yourself be vulnerable to. Is that Love, really?

Warren Barfield ‘s Love is not a fight always helps me picture what I believe is the truest form of love. There’s a love that doesn’t fight for its own, is not proud or arrogant, does not keep record of wrongs. It is that Love we must daily fight to attain. It is that Love we must let be shed abroad in our hearts and in turn share with those we come across. We must not only give but we must expect to receive that love back. Especially with people, we have decided to do life’s journey with. We must not settle as much as we must not give love that makes them settle. We must not let past or even present experiences fool us into believing that this love is extinct or only peculiar to us. There are 700 prophets yet remaining who haven’t bowed to Baal. And If even there aren’t, people’s misunderstanding and misdeeds shouldn’t redefine what has already been defined 2000 years ago.

PS : Image isn’t mine but pretty much sums up the post.

Let’s share God’s type of love!

MercyMax!!!