LITTLE GLIMMERS OF AFFIRMATION

Satisfaction in life is a great feat many fail to attain before they die. This, I believe, is because we are built to keep searching till we find, to worry about any and everything until a peace greater than us calms us and to fear until we see a tangible reason not to. And searching, worrying or being scared, I have come to, from experience, understand are our souls’ natural mechanism to trace its step back to God, our maker. 

Total completeness is really impossible without a relationship with God; we are only in parts, never full without that communion. 

Everyday, we see a world deteriorating in morality. Humaneness, that feeling of compassion and the accompanying empathy that prevents us from causing harm to the next human is fading away at such a fast pace, it’s terrifying. The question is no longer if it is bad or good but how bad. Good is rare so we okay some bad and frown on others that weigh higher on our scale of badness. 

Dissatisfaction is what consumes men such that they are in constant chase of something, something that really is God but since they do not know, their search is channeled to everything immoral. 

And for some of us, it is a chase after love, after a feeling of wholeness and solidness. We are emotional beings searching for who we’d lavish our love on that will also lavish theirs on us. We are empty, in many ways. Full of voids. So we search, using material things to fill up the voids. Material things that are time-bound. From a sumptuous Chocolate cookie to Bole and Fish to a good movie series to a good Chimamanda’s novel. All time bound, leaving us back at our old state in no time. And in the times when we find a human who we think loves us in the way we want to be loved, we shiver with excitement, forget our lives in their hands and sometimes suffer for their own brokenness, excusing the unfair treatment they mete to us. We let them take the place of God in our lives- expect that they fix and complete us forgetting that they are incomplete themselves. And when they don’t because they can’t, we revert back to eating chocolate and repeat the cycle again.
But God is watching. Arms open, waiting. He understands our failure to find peace and healing for our souls because we really can find it nowhere except in Him. He’s the solution right by and in us but we go miles searching for faux,  fleeting semblances of one.

We were not made to survive independent of our maker.  It’s only normal that we don’t find satisfaction until we are in communion with Him. He’s the one who knows us best and knows what we really need per time, and so He alone can satisfy those needs in a way that not only does our neediness cease but our wants too. 

These past few days for me as I got fed up of seeking different places for answers have been rewarding. They’ve been filled with little glimmers of hope, little invisible yet real nods of affirmation telling me I’m on the right path. A pixel of the bigger picture revealed. A tiny piece of the puzzle made tangible.

 Our answers are not far, they are in God. He reveals them, satisfies us as we come to Him. Some days, through prayers answered. Other days, through an unwavering conviction that we are walking the paths made for us. Yet again, other days, through His inexplicable peace during our storms.

God loves us completely. 

Thanks for reading.  

Love Is Not A Fight But It’s Something Worth Fighting For

Love wholly, give yourself fully. Or don’t at all. Don’t start a journey you can’t go the full length of. Don’t be with someone who deprives you of the ability to give your all without the fear of getting hurt.

This was part of my journal entry for Saturday, 5th August. I can remember clearly, the emotions I felt preceding my writing it. They were different, completely different from what I settled to write.

I’m Not Looking Up To God

I allow Bethel Music’s I look to you play repeatedly in my ears. Just so perhaps, my heart would connect. But still, I’m far from doing what the song says. I’m not looking up to God. I’m looking at my heart and the emptiness I feel is fast filling me up.

My life has been this way for a while, a contradiction to what it is I believe and what it is I say i want. I tell myself I want to love more yet all I do is nag about not being shown love enough. I tell myself growth should be the centre of my existence yet I exempt myself from the things I know would foster it. I tell myself my life is nothing without friends and family yet I rarely return calls or even reach out. I tell myself I need nobody to validate me, that I know I’m enough, yet I’m disturbed when compliments and affirmations do not come at the pace I want. And resentful when the opposites come. I tell myself God is my all yet, I constantly ignore His checks and leadings.

“Give me wisdom, you know just what to do” The song says. But when He does, would I be listening? Or would I be caught up yielding to what tickles my emotions and doing what I think would be applauded by the people I hold in high esteem. The people I’ve exalted above God, above my own feelings even.

Why is my heart wavering and unsteady? Have I forgotten that a double minded man can receive nothing from God? Why do I feel lost again? Didn’t His grace already find me? Why do I know He’s close yet relate with Him from a distance? Why is faith suddenly so much work?

These days are tough. These days when the only reason we pull through is the past victories we’ve had. These days when we have to remind ourselves constantly that the God of our yesterday is still the same God of our today and He promises us a better tomorrow.

*****

If you’re here too, count your blessings and dare to believe. It’s what I’ll be doing. 💓💝

God loves us all even in these moments, I know.

MercyMax!!!

Look! Morning Came Around .

Hello beautiful people!
Bet you all are doing well and I was at least a bit missed. Lol. Oh well, I can’t even pinpoint a reason why I took an almost two months break. I’ve been writing, not just here. Perhaps, because I didn’t feel I had something meaningful to tell you guys. :twisted::twisted:

Well, what’s important is I’m here now. Glory to God. That gloomy night is over. The morning is here and Me ushered me into it. OK, let me clarify, Me is a blogger and my friend. Don’t be confused, her name on here is ‘Me’. Got it? OK, let’s continue. So she literally forced me to repent of whatever made me stop writing here by nominating me for the sunshine blogger award. Now Me, is a beautiful person. She’s sunshine, literally. So if she thinks I’m worthy of a sunshine award, you can only imagine how sunny I’m feeling right now. Lol.

Here’s what The Sunshine award is about : It’s an award given to bloggers who are seen as inspiring and creative, and accepting it comes with the following rules:

1.Thank the blogger for nominating them and link back to their blog.

2.Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.

3.Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 questions to answer

4.Notify your nominees; and

5.List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo in your post.

So I’ll answer Me’s questions below :

1. What has writing taught you?
A whole lot. First is, that you think your craft is awesome at a time doesn’t mean you’ll think so the next month or week. Don’t be carried away by emotions. Build art that outlives time. Second, everything gets better with practice. Every single thing.
Third and last for now, unnecessary comparison will kill you. Stay in your lane and allow the process of growth occur.

2.How would you describe your writing genre?
Hehehehe….  Trust me, I scarcely know. But I think I do best at informal non fictional writing. Is there a genre like this?  By the way genre is pronounced ‘guhnra,’ I didn’t know till days back 🙈🙈and I know there’s one person reading this who doesn’t know too. You’re welcome, love. Lol. Anyways, this is it for now, informal non fiction. But it could change in the next year. Who knows? Growth and positive change are always welcome.

4. Favorite quote and by whom?
I don’t have a favourite. I have favourites. I’ll list some I remember now:
” Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
-Jesus Christ.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies, for the hardest victory is victory over self.”
-Aristotle

“There is someone in need of your light.”
-Rofiat Alli

“Even the condemned clay is useful in the hands of the skilled porter ”
-Mercy Max

5. If you could describe yourself in two words, what would you be?
Purpose enthusiast.

6.What endears a person to you? I basically just need some hacks on how to be your favorite crush? Humour me, please.
Hehehehe, plenty oo. Wit is one, almost everything, to be honest. Then a healthy dose of esteem. Then the person’s tolerance, ability to listen as well as taaaallllkkkkk. And I mean every repeated alphabet. From here, the rest could fall into place.

7. If you were a color in a crayon box, which will you be, and why?

I want to say green because to me, growth is everything.

I want to say black because of the boldness and fierceness  that oozes out of me in rare occasions, I must confess, but still, in very strong doses when they do.

However blue beckons, it’s ability to be subtle yet endearing, bold too when it wants to be and of course, it’s association with mornings – something I’ve been needing for quite a while- seems too gorgeous to not be chosen. I yield to it. I’ll choose a blue life if I could.

Alright, that ends Me’s questions. Unto my own questions.

1. If you had to trade writing with another art, which would you choose?

2. Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert? Which are you? Which would you rather be?

3. What is the one thing you’d by all means love to accomplish before you die?

4. What does happiness mean to you?

And my own nominees for the sunshine blogger award are:

1. JamPearl
2. This Nigerian Chic
3. Beauty beyond bones
4.  Irene Ibiwari Ikiriko

I await your posts. Y’all are awesome. 😘😘

And to my people: Fam, I’ll try to be a lot more frequent with posts. No more sulking or dragging feet. The night is over, Morning is here.

Nothing but love!

MercyMax!!!

Let God be true And Your Feelings A Lie

Trying to get kids in routine requires diligence, I’m learning. If you are consistent, they’ll eventually become so too. If you aren’t, it’ll be hard to get them to pick up again after a halted routine.
I have been trying to get my seven year old and four year old cousins to say short prayers in the morning while they have their baths. I typically make them repeat after me, at least for now till they get used to it. I believe strongly that we have to give kids a consciousness of Jesus from childhood even the more now that the atheism movement seems to be growing rapidly .

So, the first and second days went quite well ; there was no restriction from them in any way. Around the third day, I think, I woke up late which means I bathed them late. I was unhappy about waking up late and  also about some other unresolved issues I was nursing in my mind. They were cranky too; didn’t want to wake up and all. As I started bathing the first one, I decided that I was too unsettled to make them say the prayers. But Just when I decided to close the matter in my heart, I remembered what God had been dealing with me on the past weeks. I remembered how He had pointed out in many ways that my feelings have too often been a hindrance to my relationship with Him, and I heard Him ask, “Do you want to transfer your issues to this innocent kid’s budding relationship with me?”

Immediately, I said the prayer with them.

But, I haven’t stopped thinking of how much I have missed just because I’ve let my feelings get in the way repeatedly. The times when I didn’t believe God still loved me because I hadn’t prayed in days. The times when I missed one day’s devotion and felt like God couldn’t lead me throughout that day. Even more often, the times when I faltered and felt that was the end of it, felt God had turned His back on me.

Like I could earn God by my goodness.

See, it is beautiful to connect with God, emotionally. But it is best to connect with your spirit. Many of us who are quite emotional have taken away the truth about God and replaced it with
emotional suggestions about who God is. We have brought down God to the level of a mere friend who is hurt and will not show up for us when we are not faithful. We have reduced God to a wavering being who we can make happy by our good deeds and so we shy away, thinking God is mad at us when we’ve been bad.

Darling, let God and His word be true  And Your Feelings, a lie. When He sees you, He doesn’t see you for you, for what you are or are not, for your flaws or flawlessness, He sees Jesus. We have to get this truth. He sees Jesus who took our place, who is righteousness and whose righteousness we now have. So yes, the eyes of God are too holy to behold iniquity but when Abba sees you, He isn’t seeing iniquity, the blood of Jesus already took care of that. He sees you in Jesus, cleaned and perfected.

That we do not feel God is still with us after we have faltered doesn’t mean He isn’t. How good or how bad we’ve been is totally inconsequential. We could never earn the presence of Almighty Yahweh. If even we were the most moral and religious, Christianity would still be based on grace and nothing we’ve done.

We also need to grow from this feel – good idea we have about God and His presence. This idea we have that for God to be in our midst, we must feel a certain way and have some notable physical experience. I used to be there too, used to get bored of my prayer time when I didn’t feel like God’s presence was present. On some occasions, I’d stop the prayer entirely and think the reason I wasn’t ‘feeling’  God was because of a ‘sin’ I had committed.

But, let God be true And our Feelings a lie.

I will never leave you nor forsake you. That’s what He said. We better believe it. He is with us when we don’t feel He is, when our emotions tell us the opposite. He is with us when the Bible study seems Rhema-less, when the praying in the spirit seems powerless. He is with us when we can’t hear the soothing sound of His voice. He is with us till the end of times.

I am learning to get up and pray when I don’t feel like, to write a blog post when I don’t feel like. This Christianity,  it’s a journey of conforming to the image of Christ, of dieing to flesh, to our feelings completely. As I write this, God is still highlighting areas in my life where I must stop obeying my feelings. As you read, I believe God is doing the same to you too. Please heed Him. Let’s work with the Holy spirit till we truly live above our feelings.

God loves you so much !

MercyMax!!!

Relearning: Seek!

I still remember the first time I was told that what we call dry pepper is actually just fresh pepper that was dried out in the sun (Should have been obvious by the name, right?), that there was no special seed to plant dry pepper. I was about ten years old, naive and in shock. I would have argued, had it not been that I trusted the person who told me.

My Childhood was beautiful.

From My Heart To Yours

The block is here again, and this time, I know the cause. My mind is everywhere. I am thinking of everything. Of life : the present and the future. Of my faith. Of the uncertainties that try to strangle it.

Will You Let Me?

Hello beautiful people!

Aren’t you guys just as excited as I am for writing and publishing as at when due? Lol. We thank God for GRACE.

When the Holy spirit totally changes what you intended to write while you’re doing dishes, you know He’s about to teach you first then through you, teach others. Let’s get going people, I hope this blesses you as much as it did me.

Winds And Flames Of Fire

This is the third time I’m attempting to write about this. Hopefully, this will be the last. The struggle to write about this goes a long way to show how unreal and distant this subject has been to me almost through out my life. And I’m quite sure it is the same with so many other Christians.

So, yeah, beautiful people, let’s talk about the ministry of angels today.

FAILING FRIENDSHIPS

Discontentment is now your daily Bread. Like a ruminant, you chew on it, believe you have swallowed it, swallowed the elements that cause your dissatisfaction only to return to chewing it again.

You used to have it put together. You were once the hero in your small circle. Loved by the people around you , celebrated by more who didn’t even know you closely. Everyone and everything was at your Beck and call. Happiness was the lullaby that put you to bed every night.